FINDING  MEANING

 

A few years ago we bought a book, Grandfather’s Blessing, by Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen. I read it and passed it on.  But I saved and printed some of her most salient quotes, which I periodically review and dwell on.  Her perspectives are refreshing, especially when affairs with our nation and our leaders appear to have gone awry.  Remen is hopeful for she sees beyond the transient.  Her message is one of hope.  This is one that I love--“Blessing life offers us a certain immortality.  Our love outlives us and strengthens others, even after we ourselves are gone.” So regardless, we can, each one of us, make the little world we live in a bit better by looking deep inside ourselves, and ensuring that our legacy will be one of hope and love.

 On this past March 19, there were nation-wide anti-war demonstrations.  In Pasadena, where we participated, there were forty pairs of empty boots to represent the soldiers from our community who have died in Iraq.  We shared with others at the demonstration our grief at the destruction and massive loss of human lives of loved ones.  Even in the sharing of grief, there was a beauty in the hope that someday we will have learned from our suffering and sorrow.    

 June and I have been engaged in hospice volunteer work for twenty-four years, not including the six years of respite when we lived in the desert at the edge of Death Valley.  During our time as active hospice volunteers we have accompanied many dear souls through their distress as they approach their end time.  Each life is a story in its own right.  And each has come to face the reality of their own mortality, knowing that the time left for them is soon drawing to a close.  Their questions and anxieties are as varied and real as ours and for each the question arises: what has been the meaning of it all? 

 We have intuited from the beginning of our volunteer work with the dying that we must divest ourselves of our own self-interests for the time with the dying and be totally present with the one who is facing death, to be aware of the utter vulnerability of the patient.  In such a moment, matters such as wealth and power have faded away. Relationships are what really matter and memories and scenes from long ago often come up for review. Parting from this life can be an experience of gratitude for those who have had the open hearts and shared memories of joys and sorrows, and practiced a basic generosity during this life.

 When one whose life has contributed a great meaning to us has passed to that great beyond, the imprint left with us is indelible.  Who they were and how they responded to the stresses in their own lives reinforces and gives strength to us in our own times of stress.  We are fortunate to have such examples, and they are always there for us even though they may have departed this life long ago.  There are some things we can be certain of, though we may not understand.  When we counsel those who grieve the loss of the loved one, we often hear them tell us how they communicate with the one who has departed and that the communications are real and provide a comfort.  It also means that those we love can rely on our messages of love and strength long after we are gone.

 Life may have hardships beyond anything we are familiar with, and yet as death nears we have seen the dearest, most touching manifestations of an inner peace by those  individuals who once lived in neglect and poverty.  Through it all, they transcended the stress of their daily burdens and loved those in their care.  And still they radiated love and peace as they bade goodbye to this life.   So regardless of how we choose to define immortality, it is synonymous with love and this we know—love is eternal, the very basis for meaning.