WHY I BELIEVE
Anyone of us, at a dark moment in our lives is likely to ask the basic question; is there a God, are we really alone here? And we call in despair for an answer. Doubts and despair compel us to find the reason for being here, to find that inner assurance, to discover that we are in some magical ways connected to the Giver of Life. We cry out because we sense that we are spiritually and emotionally empty if we are solely dependent only on the “here and now.” There are wonderfully significant dimensions to life that provide assurance if we are willing to be open to explore them. We have to be willing to believe, even if what we believe evades our ability to define. “Seek and ye shall find,” means that our search is an individual pursuit.
We are the only species with the gifts of laughter, and of tears. Those gifts enable us to experience love and redemption, to seek forgiveness and forgive others, and to transcend evil. Also we have the ability to develop an essence of Godlike spirituality. God and spirituality are mysteries that we cannot nor do not need to define. We are spiritual beings and if we deny that reality, our lives are barren. And while we may not define how spirituality is related to eternity, there is a connection that is beautiful. Somehow that connection gives meaning to that which we may not otherwise be able to understand.
Our five senses are limited, so we often depend on intuition. We also have a longing to go beyond that sensual boundary, to use our extra-sensory perceptions for subtleties and insights of understanding. I believe, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that we mortals have access to a spiritual power that is greater than we know, that can bring healing of the mind and body. . Healing does not mean a cure, nor does it necessarily imply any great drama. Nor does healing mean that death will be avoided or even delayed, for we all die. Negativity and narcissism are the opposite in polarity to the energy of healing. They must be discarded for they are barriers. Emotional, spiritual or physical pain are all eased or healed by the power of love!
Death is the great equalizer. Regardless of our achievements or what we may have acquired in life, at the end, there is only a single value by which the worth of the life’s journey is evaluated. And from our experience in decades of being with terminally ill patients, in the end, their hope is that they have made life better for those around them and shared love. I do know that it is a miracle of love and spirituality that can transform the end of life from grief into an experience with meaning. Recently I was privileged to accompany my wife, June, in her visits to an elderly patient over a period of several months. This patient had known great hardship and poverty. She spoke no English, so June would sing the Ave Maria to her and love songs that reminded her of when she was young and she read her favorite Scriptures to her in her own language. This dear elder’s face just glowed with appreciation. The last day we were with her was especially poignant, for she and both of us knew that her death was near. Her countenance was radiant and when June said that she knew that our patient would soon be leaving us, her reply, in her own words, was that she was “tranquil.” This dear soul had a “Peace that passed understanding.” It was a beauty to behold!
A long time friend of ours has been a quadriplegic for over thirty years, having broken his neck falling down a mountain. He has described his out-of-body experience when the accident occurred. He had been mountain climbing and slipped. As he observed himself, as his body was falling down the mountain-side, to him it looked like a rag doll. He survived and has transcended his suffering, writing beautiful poetry, with lines that one will reread and remember. He has also become an artist. Often I have seen him in a hospital with patients, bringing hope and cheer as only he can. He has been a shining example of overcoming against all odds.
One of my palliative care patients was Joe. He had been in palliative care for quite some time. During that time we had formed a real bond and Joe had told me much of his life’s story. It was a story of great pain and heroism. He had struggled all his life as an immigrant. His wife had left him to raise his two little girls alone, when they were quite young. They had been the focus of his life and now an accident was to bring his life to a close. Soon he was about to leave them while they were still in their teens and that was his grief. The last time that I saw him, while he was still conscious, he tried to whisper, but I didn’t understand. So I said, both for the benefit of Joe and his girls, who were present, “Joe, when you are gone, you will then be a guardian angel for your girls.” The continuing presence of a departed loved one remains as a guiding presence long after they are gone. It has been my prayer that Joe would continue to be a guardian angel for his girls, for those who deeply feel the loss of a loved one need to feel the support of their continuing presence.
Our lives are altogether inadequate and barren if we should solely depend on the rationality of the skeptic. I suspect that those who contend that there is no God may have somehow missed out on those life experiences that unmistakably speak of redemption, of forgiveness, of hope and of love. Love can often transcend our emotional or physical pain. There are other dimensions of a life force of energy that is as real as life itself. An example is the art of therapeutic touch which June and I have practiced for years. Though it is not a substitute for medical care, by patience and thoughtful centering, often the area of pain will be sensed by the movement of the caregiver’s hand over that part of the patient’s body. By “centering” one’s loving intentions, the patient may find relief. And how often have we prayed, in times of crisis, for those we loved and sensed that somehow our prayers were heard. In times of great need, in pain and agony of soul, we reach out to that “Other.”
There is a mystical energy communicated by a spiritual presence, for there is much more to life for us to explore beyond the concrete. Often I will tell a patient who is approaching death that there is more to who they are than their frail body that is failing, and to which they will be bidding farewell. And though we cannot see the spirit that inhabits the body, the spirit is the real part of who a person is. Spirit, which is the very essence of one’s being, is the energy that will remain in the universe. Though we will not see it, those of us who have had a glimpse of who a person is, will know. I have talked with many bereaved family members and told them what I have said to the patient and often they speak of accounts of spiritual communications with the departed loved ones that are meaningful. The late George Burns, in his book, GRACIE, tells how he went out to his wife’s grave and talked to her. He said that it made him feel better.
We have discovered God in many ways in our twenty-some years of volunteering with patients during their end-time and we have learned how to dismiss all the casual, extraneous thoughts that ordinarily occupy our minds. To be with those patients—truly present to them during their remaining time, -- makes those remaining hours more precious than can be described. As we learn to sense some of the patients’ unspoken thoughts and emotions we know that the patients also feel the spiritual and emotional support that is present, whether or not words are spoken. Words alone are inadequate to describe the spiritual dimensions and poignancies when we hear ourselves or others saying, whether audibly or not, to someone in distress, “Our thoughts and prayers are with you.”
Yes, dear reader, there is that source of grace that is a part of the eternal. I love how Rachel Naomi Remen said it in her book, GRANDFATHER’S BLESSING, “Blessing life offers us a certain immortality. Our love outlives us and strengthens others, even after we ourselves are gone.”
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